Monday, March 18, 2013

The Other Side Of Magic

It's been about nine months since my last post. Almost a full pregnancy... This is probably the natural amount of time some important things in our human lives take to be fully processed and set straight.

Lot of things happened in my life since. The most important thing is I started working again in August last year, at a small architectural office in my neighborhood which I am most grateful for. My employment assistance was running out, and my intense work on my new music and a full repertoire of covers and new stuff started trickling down as I was growing more and more impatient and anxious to start working again. It got to the point of complete mental and creative paralysis. The only thing I could focus was working on my resumes, and sending them in bunches day after day.

Couple months before the break end I got an agent and started auditioning for commercials, which was very encouraging as I was getting two to three auditions a week. Unfortunately, it worked out that I got the opportunity too late and by the time it got really busy, I had to stop for my new job.

The last few months influenced by some readings about the power of positive thinking, I decided to commence an experiment: every day, every chance I had I started repeating in my head: "I have a good job, I work four days a week, I have a good salary,  and I work with great people." One night, as I just finished sending the last resume on my list, I checked one last time the classified section on the Architectural Institute of BC, and there it popped - a brand new add. I immediately sent my resume which i thought fits perfectly to what they are looking for. I was suppressing my enthusiasm toward this add as everything i read was a match, plus the company is only 10 min from my place. I only kept repeating: "I have a good job, I work four days a week, I have a good salary, and I work with great people."
To my surprise, I got a response the next morning, an interview a couple days after, and was on my new job in a week! Four days a week, with a very unique small group of people, with a pretty good salary, and I'm again becoming more and more excited about architecture as a career choice. Coincidence or not, my gut feeling is that my thoughts have actually made a difference.

I had a lot of time to ponder about what was going on in my life since 2009 when I released my first two albums, and I must admit it was a downward spiral. My last post was pretty dark as you can see, and it is a pure reflection of how I was feeling. Completely dissilusioned about architecture as a career choice, even more disilusioned about the music industry as an option of making a living, and very much so disilusioned about the system which we created to live and survive in, especially after the Occupy Movement. I will write about this in more detail in my next posts, but I realised that the Magic I wanted to write in my blog is harder and harder to find. I still keep looking and stealing the bits and pieces of it, and they still do keep me in balance, but I admit I'm looking at it all with different eyes.

So I want this post to be an announcement about all the future posts that will be different then before. They will be addressing issues that occupy my mind, the not so magical issues that make our lives as hard and unpleasant as they can be, balanced with the magic I still capture around. At last, this is the reality we live in, and it's hard to keep your eyes and ears shut. The least we can do is to somehow address it, make a point, raise the voice.

The magic I will be writing in the future is the magic of hopeful change. Change... Such an overused word lately, but the only thing we can do is try.

Meanwhile, I started an online collaboration with a long time friend of mine in Serbia writing music on her beautiful poems, and already have more then a full album of songs which I am very proud of. Lots of other projects are coming, so please stay tuned.